Fans of MTV's 'Jersey Shore' have watched Jenni Farley, or JWoww as she's well known, live her life publicly. JWoww was a breakout star who fans watched over the past decade go from a club hopping, scantily clad shore girl to a mother and wife who has transitioned before our eyes. In recent years she's broken from her hard partying antics with her BFF Snooki. Jenni is now a married woman with children, learning the tough lessons that come with full time adulting. Yesterday the reality tv star let the public in on a secret: Her transition has been anything but smooth and she is compelled to share her divorce and abuse anguish publicly in this vulnerable time of life. Read her powerful words (from her personal website)
A MESSAGE TO ROGER:
I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FEW MONTHS TRYING TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM PUBLIC HUMILIATION, BECAUSE AS PARENTS, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THEM. I WANTED TO HANDLE THIS OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT BECAUSE OUR SILENCE IS THEIR GREATER GOOD. EVEN WHEN YOU TRIED TO DISGRACE MY NAME, MAKE FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND EVEN POINT BLANK LIE... I STILL REMAINED SILENT AS CHALLENGING AS IT WAS ... WHY? BECAUSE, GREATER GOOD. I CAN NO LONGER SIT IDLY BY WHILE YOU MISTREAT AND MALIGN ME IN SUCH AN EGREGIOUS MANNER. YOU HAVE PRESENTED YOURSELF TO THE PUBLIC AS A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER AND A HUSBAND WHO HAS BEEN SUFFERING BY MY ALLEGED ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR.
THE ALTERED PERCEPTIONS YOU HAVE CREATED FOR YOURSELF ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS TRULY STAGGERING. YOUR POSTINGS ARE CONSUMED WITH INACCURACIES, FALSE STATEMENTS, SELF-SERVING COMMENTS, OUTRIGHT MISREPRESENTATIONS AND BLATANT LIES. WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL TRUTH? WHAT IS YOUR REALITY? IS IT THE VIDEO YOU TOOK OF YOURSELF WHILE DRIVING THE CHILDREN, PLACING THEM AT RISK BECAUSE YOU CANNOT TAKE THE CAMERA OFF OF YOURSELF EVEN FOR A MINUTE WHILE OPERATING A VEHICLE? IS IT THE PIZZA THAT YOU FED TO OUR 2 YEAR OLD SON WHO IS HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO GLUTEN AND DAIRY, PLACING HIM IN SERIOUS MEDICAL JEOPARDY? WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT THE FOOD SITUATION, YOU CHOSE TO BERATE ME INSTEAD OF ACKNOWLEDGING THAT GREYSON’S HEALTH IS OF PARAMOUNT CONCERN. HOW DARE I BE WORRIED ABOUT OUR SON’S MEDICAL CONDITION? HOW DARE ANYONE QUESTION YOU ABOUT WHAT GREYSON EATS DURING YOUR PARENTING TIME? IT’S ONLY OUR SON’S SAFETY AT ISSUE. APPARENTLY, ALL OF HIS MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS ARE WRONG AND YOU KNOW BEST ABOVE ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE THOROUGHLY EVALUATED HIM. YOU FORGOT TO POST A PHOTO OF WHEN YOU RECEIVED YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE SO THAT YOU COULD PERSONALLY DIAGNOSE OUR SON AND THEREFORE DISREGARD ALL OF THE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE WE HAVE RECEIVED FOR HIS MEDICAL BEST INTERESTS. I AM CURIOUS WHY YOU DIDN’T POST LAST WEEK’S VIDEO OF GREYSON WITH HIS THERAPIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA? OH, OF COURSE!! THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE YOU REFUSED TO OPEN THE DOOR (AND YOU WERE HOME!) TO ALLOW THE THERAPIST IN FOR GREYSON’S SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT, EVEN THOUGH SHE STOOD THERE KNOCKING AND RINGING THE BELL FOR 30 MINUTES IN THE FREEZING COLD. SHE SHOWED UP ON THE MOST ARCTIC DAY OF THE YEAR TO PROVIDE CARE FOR GREYSON AND YOU AGAIN IGNORED THE CRITICAL MEDICAL NEEDS THAT HE REQUIRES. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS ONLY A SMALL SAMPLING IN THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS OF “ROGER REALITY ON IG”. A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER? YOU NEED TO LOOK OUT FOR THE BEST INTERESTS OF OUR CHILDREN, ROGER. THE CHILDREN ARE THE ONLY PRIORITY. YOUR ACTIONS HAVE AND CONTINUE TO PLACE THE CHILDREN IN HARM’S WAY. STOP, PAUSE AND HAVE A TRUE REALITY CHECK.
YOU HURT THE CHILDREN AND YOU HURT ME. WHEN WILL IT END?
IT IS INCONCEIVABLE THAT YOU PERSONALLY RESEARCHED THE WHEREABOUTS AND CONTACTED EX BOYFRIENDS OF MINE TO INFLICT HARM UPON ME AFTER I FILED FOR DIVORCE AND YOU WERE REMOVED FROM THE HOME AS A RESULT OF A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER. IT IS UNFATHOMABLE TO ME THAT BECAUSE OF YOU PROACTIVELY CONTACTING AN EX-BOYFRIEND OF MINE TO TEAM UP AGAINST ME, HE WAS ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO EXTORT MONEY FROM ME. YOU DIDN’T STOP THERE THOUGH. YOU PERSISTED TO TRY TO TAKE ME DOWN. YOU KNEW THAT ANOTHER EX FROM MY COLLEGE YEARS BRUTALLY BEAT ME SO BADLY THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED. HE WAS INCARCERATED FOR THE VIOLENT ACTS AGAINST ME. HE WAS GUILTY OF 3 COUNTS OF CRIMINAL CONTEMPT IN THE SECOND DEGREE. HE VIOLATED AN ORDER OF PROTECTION MULTIPLE TIMES. HE EVEN CONTACTED ME FROM JAIL AFTER HE WAS ARRESTED IN VIOLATION OF THE ORDER. HE SHOWED UP TO MY HOME, WORK, GYM AND IT GOT SO FRIGHTENING THAT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT PLACED A CAPER ALARM IN MY HOME FOR MY 24/7 SAFETY.
I CONFIDED IN YOU ABOUT MY PAINFUL PAST AS A SURVIVOR OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. HOW SHAMEFUL THAT YOU USED IT TO BEAT ME DOWN FARTHER. WHEN YOUR OWN ACTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME WERE QUESTIONED, YOU CHOSE TO REACH OUT TO THIS UNSPEAKABLE PERSON IN ORDER TO INTIMIDATE ME. YOUR ATTEMPT TO BRING THIS HEINOUS PERSON BACK INTO MY LIFE (THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN) AFTER HE NEARLY MURDERED ME SPEAK VOLUMES AS TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE. YOU ARE AN ABUSER TO THE CORE, ROGER MATHEWS. IF THIS WAS NOT ENOUGH, YOU HAVE SPIT AT ME. YOU HAVE PUSHED ME. YOU HAVE SHOVED ME. YOU HAVE AGGRESSIVELY THROWN ME TO THE GROUND. YOU HAVE PREVENTED ME FROM CLOSING DOORS TO ESCAPE HAVING YOU COMING AT ME. YOU HAVE BELITTLED AND DISPARAGED ME. YOU HAVE THREATENED ME. YOU HAVE CONTACTED MY BOSSES TO ATTEMPT TO SMEAR MY NAME AND HURT MY PUBLIC IMAGE. YOU HAVE CALLED AUTHORITIES TO FALSELY ACCUSE ME OF HARMING OUR CHILDREN HOPING TO GET A LEG UP AS LEVERAGE IN A CUSTODY CASE, ONLY RESULTING IN OUR CHILDREN HAVING TO BE UNDRESSED AND PHYSICALLY EXAMINED, BEING HUMILIATED AND INVESTIGATED WITH NATURALLY NO SUBSTANTIATION OF ANY ABUSE ON MY PART. YOU CLAIM TO HAVE SUFFERED? YOUR ACTIONS ARE REPREHENSIBLE. NO REAL MAN WOULD TORTURE HIS FAMILY AS YOU HAVE. YOU ARE CRUEL AND VICIOUS. YOU ARE A “MAN” WHO ACTUALLY BLAMES THE VICTIM. SADLY, I HAVE LEARNED THAT THIS IS ALL JUST ORDINARY BEHAVIOR FOR YOU. UPON YOU BEING REMOVED FROM THE HOME BY THE POLICE, I FOUND THE RECORDS OF YOUR MULTIPLE ARRESTS, WHICH YOU PREVIOUSLY HID FROM ME. A VIOLENT PERSON IS WHO YOU REALLY ARE THROUGH AND THROUGH.
YOUR THREATS AND ABUSE ARE NOT LIMITED TO THOSE INCIDENTS THOUGH. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE. JUST ONE EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW IS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THREATENING TO USE A USB THAT YOU KEPT HIDDEN IN YOUR GUN AMMO CASE AGAINST ME. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IS ON THIS USB HOWEVER. YOUR INTIMIDATION TACTICS WITH FOOTAGE THAT YOU INTEND TO SHOW OUT OF CONTEXT ARE MEANINGLESS. THE VIDEOS ARE FROM 2 YEARS AGO. YOU ARE RECORDING YOURSELF WHILE HOLDING GREYSON THE DAY AFTER YOU CHOKED ME AND THREW ME DOWN TO THE FLOOR IN THE KITCHEN. I CAN’T RECALL WHY YOU ASSAULTED ME ON THAT OCCASION – JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE FARLEY-MATHEW’S HOME. I DO HAVE THE FOOTAGE OF THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INCIDENT THOUGH. IT IS OBVIOUS NOW THAT THE FOLLOWING DAY YOU WANTED TO RECORD YOURSELF BAITING ME IN YOUR “SELFIE VIDEO” BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED OVER A POSSIBLE RESTRAINING ORDER DUE TO YOUR ACTIONS FROM THE DAY BEFORE. YOUR SELFIE IS 20 MINUTES OF ME CRYING AND RANTING IN THE BACKGROUND ... LOOKING PALE AND FRAZZLED. WHY? BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME HORRIBLE NAMES, DISPARAGED MY FATHER, STATED THINGS LIKE “I GOT MY ASS BEAT BY SAM”, FALSELY ACCUSE THAT I’M A “DRUG ADDICT,” YOU HAVING BRAGGED ABOUT HOW THIS WOMAN YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH IS “SMOKING HOT” AND HOW “SHE WAS WORTH GETTING PUNCHED BY HER HUSBAND.” I HAD GREYSON 6 MONTHS PRIOR. WHILE MY HORMONES, MY INSECURITIES AND MY EMOTIONS ALL GOT THE BEST OF ME, I BELIEVE THAT ANY REASONABLE PERSON WOULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY UPSET BY YOUR VERBAL ATTACK UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU TALK ABOUT OTHER WOMEN IN MY PREMARITAL HOUSE THAT SHELTERS YOU AND WHERE OUR CHILDREN LIVE? YOU BRAG ABOUT AN AFFAIR, HAVING NO RESPECT FOR ME AS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN? YOU RECORD YOURSELF WITH OUR SON AT YOUR SIDE WHILE SAYING THESE DISGUSTING THINGS TO ME, HAVING PHYSICALLY ABUSED ME THE DAY BEFORE, AND WITH A PROVOCATIVE SMIRK ON YOUR FACE? I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT I THREW A VACUUM ABOUT 15 FEET AWAY OUT OF FRUSTRATION BUT CANDIDLY BEING TAUNTED IN THIS MANNER WHERE YOU SPEAK ABOUT CRAVING ANOTHER WOMAN’S “PU**Y” JUST AFTER I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR SON WAS SIMPLY APPALLING. I HAD BEEN CLEANING GLASS YOU SHATTERED IN THE KITCHEN. YOU HOWEVER TRY TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF I BROKE THE GLASS BY THROWING IT AT YOU AND GREY. YOU DON’T SEE THAT IN THE VIDEO YOU “CREATE”. YOU DON’T SEE GREY UPSET IN THE VIDEO. YOU ARE OF COURSE AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER, CHILLING OUT WITHOUT MAKING A MOVE. JUST PROVOKING AND RIDICULING ME, TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME.
SO YOU HAVE EMBARKED ON A CRUSADE TO ABUSE ME AND PLACE ME AND THE KIDS IN HARM’S WAY. STILL A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER AND HUSBAND?
FOR MYSELF, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS AND I CAN HONOR THAT. YES, EVEN IN LIGHT OF ALL OF THE ABOVE, AND MY HAVING FILED FOR DIVORCE, I MADE SURE COUNTLESS TIMES THE KIDS KNEW REGARDLESS OF OUR DIVORCE, WE WERE STILL A UNIT. THE DAY AFTER I FILED, I BOUGHT DISNEY ON ICE TICKETS FOR ALL OF US. THESE TICKETS WERE FOR JANUARY. I CLEARLY THOUGHT OF US CO-PARENTING WELL INTO THE FUTURE AS RESPONSIBLE PARENTS SHOULD. I INVITED YOU AND PAID FOR YOUR PLANE TICKET TO GREYSON’S DOCTOR APPOINTMENT IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA. EVEN AFTER 6 MONTHS OF FIGHTING, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY TO GET GREYSON HELP YOU MADE ME FEEL ISOLATED AND ALONE BECAUSE YOU INSISTED THAT GREYSON DIDN’T NEED HELP AND THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED IT. IT WAS ALL ABOUT SAFEGUARDING YOUR EGO INSTEAD OF OUR SON’S MEDICAL NEEDS. AN OBSTACLE THAT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FRUSTRATING. YET, I STILL HAD THANKSGIVING WITH YOU TO TRY TO REMAIN ALIGNED FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. THE GREATER GOOD. JUST BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE CAN’T MOVE FORWARD IN THEIR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP, DOES NOT MEAN THEY CAN’T CO-PARENT. I HAVE SINCE TRIED EVERY DAY TO WORK WITH YOU, WORKING WITH MY LAWYER TO PREPARE AND PROPOSE MULTIPLE AGREEMENTS AND SOLUTIONS TO RESOLVE ALL OF OUR CUSTODY, PARENTING TIME AND DIVORCE RELATED ISSUES WE HAVE SO THAT WE CAN GLOBALLY SETTLE THE CASE IN RECORD TIME. WHY NOT BE THE EXAMPLE OF HOW PEOPLE CAN WORK TOGETHER FOR THE BEST INTERESTS OF THEIR CHILDREN, RIGHT? UNFORTUNATELY, YOU WON’T EVEN COMMIT ON A PERMANENT BASIS TO ME HAVING MOTHER’S DAY WITH THE KIDS AND YOU HAVING FATHER’S DAY. YOU WON’T COMMIT LONG TERM TO EACH OF US HAVING EQUAL ACCESS TO SCHOOL AND MEDICAL RECORDS FOR THE CHILDREN. IT IS INCONCEIVABLE. YOUR INSISTENCE TO FIGHT MERELY TO FIGHT HIGHLIGHTS YOUR ABUSIVE TENDENCIES. YOUR SPITEFUL ATTITUDE CONTINUES TO BE HARMFUL TO THIS FAMILY. YOU ARE CONTROLLING. YOU ARE MANIPULATIVE. YOU ARE IRRESPONSIBLE. OUR CHILDREN ARE THE ONES WHO SUFFER AS A RESULT. NOT YOU.
NOW YOU EVEN REJECTED TAKING MEILANI FOR AN OVERNIGHT BECAUSE IT MEANT SPENDING $20-$40 FOR A MORNING BABYSITTER BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PROVE A “LIFESTYLE” (AND YOU WERE UNABLE TO CARE FOR HER BECAUSE OF YOUR WORK SCHEDULE). YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE TIME WITH OUR DAUGHTER AND REFUSED THE OVERNIGHT OVER A FEW DOLLARS BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO BUILD A CHILD SUPPORT CASE. THE $20-$40 SAVINGS TO YOU WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OVERNIGHT TIME WITH MEILANI. DO YOU POST THESE FACTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA? NO! YOU POST INSTEAD THAT I AM WITHHOLDING YOUR CHILDREN. I RECALL YOU BEING THE MAN WHO TOUTED HIMSELF ON AND OFF CAMERA SO MANY TIMES... “I AM NOT WITH YOU FOR YOUR MONEY. I WILL NEVER WANT CHILD SUPPORT, ALIMONY... I AM A HARD WORKING MAN AND CAN HOLD MY OWN,” ETC. SO WHERE IS THIS PERSON NOW? HOW COULD YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE FOR SO MANY YEARS AND SAY THAT YOU LOVED ME FOR ME AND NOT FOR MY PAYCHECK? NOW YOU ASK FOR ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT AND YOU ALSO WANT TO CHALLENGE THE VALIDITY OF A 2015 PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT THAT YOU SIGNED AS A VALID, BINDING AND ENFORCEABLE CONTRACT ON CAMERA?
BE A MAN AND HOLD YOURSELF TO YOUR WORD THAT “YOU WERE NEVER WITH ME FOR MY MONEY, AND NEVER WANTED MY MONEY...” CHOOSE TO BE AN AMAZING FATHER WHO RECOGNIZES THEIR HEALTH, WELL-BEING AND NEEDS AS A PRIORITY INSTEAD OF BEING IN IT FOR YOURSELF.
I GUESS I WON’T EVER KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE “KEEPING IT REAL... AND THE REAL REALITY.” I AM THE FOOL IN THE END FOR BELIEVING IN THE HYPE OF YOU. NEVERTHELESS, I WILL CONTINUE TO HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH AND BE THE BEST PARENT I CAN BE. I WILL HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL STOP WITH THE HATE FILLED ANTICS AND JUST BE A GOOD FATHER TO OUR CHILDREN, FOR THEM... NOT FOR THE MONEY MOTIVES BEHIND IT. I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HANDLE THIS MATTER WITH CLASS AND DIGNITY BECAUSE OUR CHILDREN MAY SEE THIS ONE DAY. HOWEVER, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, I WILL NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO TRY ALL AVENUES TO RUIN THE PERSON I WORKED SO HARD TO BECOME... I HAVE BEEN BROKEN DOWN, BEATEN, HOSPITALIZED, TRAUMATIZED, THREATENED, DEGRADED, BATTERED, AND ABUSED. I GOT OUT. I STAND STRONG TODAY. FOR ME. FOR GREYSON. FOR MEILANI. THEY WILL NOT GROW UP WATCHING THEIR MOTHER BEING A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I WILL BE A VICTIM NO LONGER. ROGER, KNOW THIS HERE AND FOR ALWAYS - MY KINDNESS SHOULD NEVER AGAIN MISTAKEN FOR WEAKNESS. REMEMBER THAT.
I WILL NOT BE THREATENED. I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED. I WILL NOT BE BROKEN.
ON A MORE GENERAL AND PERSONAL NOTE. I KNOW THIS MAY BE SEEN BY MANY PEOPLE IN VARYING CIRCUMSTANCES IN ALL WALKS OF LIFE. VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARE NOT JUST THOSE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY ABUSED. BECOME EDUCATED AND PROTECTED. MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DIVORCE LAWYER, BARI WEINBERGER, HAS CREATED FREE MATERIALS THAT ARE DESIGNED TO HELP EXPLAIN THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS, THE PROCESS, YOUR RIGHTS, AND WHAT TO DO TO OBTAIN PROTECTION FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. HTTPS://CONTENT.WEINBERGERLAWGROUP.COM/DOMESTIC-VIOLENCE-BOOK. SO MANY OF YOU MAY BE UNDERSTANDABLY AFRAID TO COME FORWARD, AND HAVE BEEN STUCK IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAR TOO LONG JUST AS I HAVE BEEN. IF ANYONE IS FEELING DOWN, BROKEN, HURT OR LOST, PLEASE KNOW THAT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! PLEASE DON’T FEEL ALONE. PLEASE SEEK HELP… WHETHER IT’S THROUGH A FRIEND, LOVED ONE, HOTLINE, LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENT, JUDGE OR STRANGER ... SUFFERING IN SILENCE IS NO WAY TO LIVE. I WAS THERE FOR MANY YEARS AND YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE SAFE. YOU ARE VALUABLE, YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE LOVED.
JENNI FARLEY