A #MeToo Challenge in the Age of Social Media

Last year I was having dinner at my friend's house and we watched one of my favorite awards season shows, The Golden Globes. When Oprah Winfrey spoke to the audience she made a speech that sent a shiver up my spine and a new challenge in my psyche

Here’s the full transcript:

Thank you, Reese [Witherspoon, who presented the award].

In 1964, I was a little girl sitting on the linoleum floor of my mother's house in Milwaukee, watching Anne Bancroft present the Oscar for best actor at the 36th Academy Awards. She opened the envelope and said five words that literally made history: “The winner is Sidney Poitier.” Up to the stage came the most elegant man I had ever seen. I remember his tie was white and, of course, his skin was black. And I'd never seen a black man being celebrated like that. 

And I have tried many, many, many times to explain what a moment like that means to a little girl, a kid watching from the cheap seats, as my mom came through the door bone-tired from cleaning other people's houses. But all I could do is quote and say that the explanation in Sidney's performance in “Lilies of the Field”: Amen, amen. Amen, amen.

In 1982, Sidney received the Cecil B. DeMille Award right here at the Golden Globes, and it is not lost on me that at this moment there are some little girls watching as I become the first black woman to be given the same award. It is an honor and it is a privilege to share the evening with all of them and also with the incredible men and women who've inspired me, who've challenged me, who've sustained me and made my journey to this stage possible: Dennis Swanson, who took a chance on me for “A.M. Chicago,” Quincy Jones, who saw me on that show and said to Steven Spielberg, “Yes, she is Sofia in 'The Color Purple,’” Gayle [King], who has been the definition of what a friend is, and Stedman [Graham], who has been my rock, just a few to name.

I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., because we all know that the press is under siege these days. But we also know that it is the insatiable dedication and the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and injustice, to tyrants and victims and secrets and lies. I want to say that I value the press more than ever before as we try to navigate these complicated times, which brings me to this: What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I'm especially proud and inspired by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories. 

Each of us in this room are celebrated because of the stories that we tell. And this year we became the story. But it's not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It's one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics or workplace. So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed, bills to pay and dreams to pursue. 

They're the women whose names we'll never know. They are domestic workers. And farm workers. They are working in factories and they work in restaurants and they're in academia, and engineering, and medicine, and science. They're part of the world of tech and politics and business. They're our athletes in the Olympics and they're our soldiers in the military. And there's someone else: Recy Taylor. A name I know and I think you should know too.

In 1944, Recy Taylor was a young wife and a mother. She was just walking home from a church service she'd attended in Abbeville, Ala., when she was abducted by six armed white men, raped and left blindfolded by the side of the road coming home from church. They threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone, but her story was reported to the NAACP where a young worker by the name of Rosa Parks became the lead investigator on her case. And together, they sought justice.

But justice wasn't an option in the era of Jim Crow. The men who tried to destroy her were never [prosecuted]. Recy Taylor died 10 days ago, just shy of her 98th birthday. She lived as we all have lived, too many years in a culture broken by brutally powerful men. For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dared to speak their truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. 

But their time is up. Their time is up! Their time is up. And I just hope — I just hope that Recy Taylor died knowing that her truth, like the truth of so many other women who were tormented in those years, and even now tormented, goes marching on. 

It was somewhere in Rosa Parks' heart almost 11 years later when she made the decision to stay seated on that bus in Montgomery, and it's here with every woman who chooses to say, “Me too.” And every man who chooses to listen. 

In my career, what I've always tried my best to do, whether in television or through film, is to say something about how men and women really behave. To say how we experience shame, how we love and how we rage, how we fail, how we retreat, persevere and how we overcome.

I've interviewed and portrayed people who've withstood some of the ugliest things life can throw at you, but the one quality all of them seem to share is an ability to maintain hope for a brighter morning, even during our darkest nights. So I want all the girls watching here now to know that a new day is on the horizon!

And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight. And some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say “Me too” again. Thank you.

#Oprah #MeToo #abuse #GoldenGlobes

Astrology: Your February Forecast

The issues that dominate the cosmic energy of the month of February are LOVE and MONEY. Venus enters Capricorn on February 3rd kicking off the the month with a challenge for each sign to "love responsibly". That could mean many readers will see their romantic relationship face a seriously sentimental upgrade. This month that means you will experience life changes that last longer than just your average Valentines Day gift of roses and chocolate. It could signal that you or your romantic love is investing in a major purchase. This is a good month to consider buying tickets for a spring or summer vacation, planning well in advance will get you and your lover a good deal on airfare and a fab airbnb ahead of time, rather than your usual last minute planning!

February is going to be an intense month for all signs of the zodiac. You may be on the receiving end of a conversation with your partner that solidifies your status, going from casual dating to full commitment is a real possibility. For the already committed, its easy to imagine with love led Venus and earthy Capricorn intertwined early this month that you and your partner will treat the entire month like Valentines Day, after all as seasoned lovers you are serious about your love.

Check Out Your February Forecast From MECCAWOODS at I AM AND CO

Aries (March 21-April 19):

You’re about to see some returns on the investment you’ve been making in your career as magnetic Venus enters Capricorn, your zone of achievement, on February 3rd. Hosting Venus here means you can expect stellar reviews and opportunities based on your professional rep. For those Aries looking to switch jobs, Venus can help you find a position you’ll love. Just make sure you don’t get caught up with imposter syndrome.

Come February 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius lands in your zone of groups and organizations, pushing you to branch out and make new friends. Community is important for you now and this moon will help you to meet the right people at the right time (which can also help to further your career).

By the 10th, communicative Mercury enters dreamy Pisces, your zone of healing and rest. With Mercury here, you might find that some peace and quiet might be the best thing for you thanks to the busy schedule you’re sure to have this month. At the same time, Mercury in Pisces also encourages you to get into the practice of trusting your intuition more and feeling things out before you act or make a decision.

You can expect the art of slowing down to be a theme for you for the next few weeks as Mars, your patron saint, moves into Taurus–your zone of income and self-worth–on February 14th. With Mars here, you’ll need to be mindful of your cash flow as Mars could drive up expenses.

On the 18th, the Sun moves to Pisces, helping you to clear out the psychic junk in prep for your birthday season. Look to the Full Moon in Virgo (February 19th), your zone of health and routines, to help you with breaking an unhealthy habit.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20):

The world is your oyster this month thanks to Venus (your planetary ruler) moving into ambitious Capricorn, your zone of travel and opportunity, on February 3rd. With Venus in this zone you might find yourself inspired to engage in just about any experience that reminds you how big and beautiful the world can be. Since this zone is also associated with publishing, some Taurus could make extra income through writing too.

By the 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius (your zone of career and achievement) stops by to help you with conquering new territory when it comes to your professional and personal goals. And with go-getter Mars entering Taurus, your zone of self-image and confidence, on February 14th; you’re going to be practically unstoppable.

Meanwhile, with communicative Mercury entering compassionate Pisces (your zone of groups and organizations) on February 10th, followed by the Sun entering Pisces on the 18th, your popularity is about to rise. Look to Mercury to help you with making the right connections while the Sun in Pisces helps you to find warmth and strength through the mutual support of your friends.

Since the cosmos also reward us when we give back, Pisces season could be a good time to donate your time or resources to a good cause. At the same time, Pisces season may also ask to you evaluate where you may be giving too much of yourself to others.

On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo lights up your zone of romance and creativity which could signal the end or the next phase of a romance. Hint: If you can’t fix it (the relationship), let it go–it’s broken. On another note, your creative talents could bring applause.

Gemini (May 21-June 20):

Your finances remain in the spotlight as the month opens, though you shouldn’t fret as the forecast looks bright. That’s because magnetic Venus will be in Capricorn, your zone of finances and intimacy, come February 3rd. Venus being in this zone means your cash flow could improve by way of your partner or by way of a lump sum of money owed to you like a commission or an insurance payout. Venus will also be working their charms to help you heal wounds around scarcity, not only in terms of money but in terms of love and intimacy too. In matters of the heart, look to Venus to help you with experiencing a true and deep connection with another, especially since Capricorn is a sign that treasures commitment and substance in relationships. P.S. vulnerability is sexy.

On the 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius lands in your zone of travel and opportunity. This moon will help you feel more optimistic about your future, which could help you to take some necessary risks. On the 10th, Mercury (your patron saint) enters inspirational Pisces, your zone of career and achievement, which could give you the chance to inspire others with your words and ideas. With the Sun moving to Pisces on the 18th, expect to bask in the glow of a major career milestone.

Though this month won’t only be about work as active Mars moves into Taurus, your zone of rest and retreat, on February 14th. Hosting Mars in this zone means your energy will be limited, which will push you to be more strategic about who/what you give your time to.

On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo lands in your home zone, which could motivate you to move or put an end to an unhealthy family dynamic.

Cancer (June 21- July 22):

If relationships have been a bit rocky for you lately, your luck is about to change as love planet Venus enters Capricorn, your zone of partnership, on February 3rd. This means you could attract a formidable love interest or find the dynamics of your relationships changing for the better, especially if you’ve been putting in the work to improve the way you mate and relate with others.

Professionally, Venus in Capricorn could also help you establish a business relationship or partnership that improves your bottom line. Since go-getter Mars will be in Taurus, your zone of friendship (February 14th), look towards aligning yourself with people who push and inspire you; people who bring an added value to your life. However, with some friends you may need to draw needed boundaries.

And speaking of relationships, with the New Moon in Aquarius (February 4th) landing in your zone of intimacy and finances, you could get the opportunity to deepen an intimate connection or find the courage you need to move on from an unhealthy relationship or to break free of old relationship patterns.

Overall, this month is all about getting you to move forward and leave the past behind, especially as communicative Mercury moves into inspirational Pisces (February 10th), your zone of travel and opportunity. With Mercury in Pisces helping you to see the bigger picture and recognize how much more is out there for you, it may make you less likely to hold on to the past.

A few days later, the Sun enters Pisces (February 18th) which will help you feel more confident about taking a big leap forward. On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo activates your communication zone which should help you with releasing an old way of thinking.

Leo (July23 - August 22):

Your health and well-being are still your focus as February kicks off and that’s because pleasure loving Venus enters Capricorn, your zone of health and routine, on the 3rd. With Venus here, know that taking care of your health doesn’t have to be a strenuous or monotonous thing. If your workout routine has become a bit rote, look to ways you can add some fun and sensuality to your fitness regimen. Doing so will help you to feel more comfortable and loving when it comes to your body. Eating foods that make you feel good will also be a priority too.

In terms of work, Venus could help you earn more money or simply enjoy what you do more. Overall, think about how you can insert a little more love into your everyday life. And no, love doesn’t necessarily mean romantic.

However, if romance is what you’re looking for, the New Moon in Aquarius (February 4th) landing in your zone of partnership should bring you the opportunity to meet someone new. If already in a relationship, the new moon could help you and your bae to begin a new chapter in love.

Professionally, you could team up with someone whose skills/talents match yours. Still, with analytical Mercury entering soulful Pisces (your zone of intimacy and finances) on February 10th, you’re encouraged to be selective about who you choose to pool your resources with, specifically when it comes to love and money.

On the 18th, the Sun moves to Pisces, spotlighting your deepest desires. Honor your emotional and intuitive self. When Mars moves to Taurus, your zone of achievement, on February 14th, it’s time to go for the gusto where your career is concerned. Hint: move strategically. The Virgo Full Moon (February 19th) pushes you to be more accountable with your money management.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22):

Love and romance are in the air for you this month as love planet Venus enters Capricorn (February 3rd), your zone of creativity and true love. Since your star is currently on the rise, it’s no surprise that you’ve been catching people’s attention. Now that you’re realizing how special you are, expect for others to see how special you are too, specifically when it comes to love.

If single, you could meet a serious contender for your heart this month, especially as communicative Mercury enters Pisces (February 10th), followed by the Sun in Pisces on February 18th. With Pisces representing your zone of committed partnerships, planets in Pisces coupled with Venus in Capricorn will be helping you to find a soulmate connection. For those already in a relationship, this planetary energy can help you to deepen your bond.

Meanwhile on February 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius lands in your zone of health and work. Under the influence of this moon, you’re encouraged to pay more attention to your health and well-being, which includes being a bit more conservative with your time and energy. If you could use a reset in terms of your nutrition and physical fitness, this moon can provide it.

By the 14th, go-getter Mars enters Taurus, your zone of travel and opportunity. With Mars here, you could find yourself with a serious case of wanderlust. Give in to it as a change of scenery is just what you need.

On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo illuminates your zone of self-image and confidence, helping you release an old version or image of yourself, while pushing you to put you first (for a change).

Libra (September 23 - October 22):

If there’s anyone who could use some peace of mind this month, that person is you, Libra. Good thing Venus, your patron saint, is moving into Capricorn (your zone of home and family) on February 3rd. With Venus in your home zone, time spent at home or with close family and friends will provide you with the respite and enjoyment you need. You might also consider redecorating your living space as a means of shifting the energy within it.

Come February 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius lands in your zone of creativity and romance, which could not only bring you new love, but it could also help you with rekindling your spark. Look to this moon to help you with discovering new passions, breaking new ground with a creative project, and cultivating joy. Hint: authenticity looks good on you.

On the 10th, communicative Mercury moves to Pisces, your zone of health and routine which could leave you with a packed schedule. While things might get super busy, prioritizing your time and energy will see you through. Decluttering your home or office could be beneficial. A detox for your mind and body could also be good, especially as Pisces season kicks off on February 18th. You might not like to think so, but you are sensitive to the energy around you. Be mindful of what you’re absorbing.

This theme continues as Mars enters Taurus, your zone of intimacy and finances, on February 14th. Under Mars’ jurisdiction, you may find the confidence you need to draw healthier boundaries in an intimate relationship.

In terms of your money, Mars encourages you to be proactive about addressing a financial matter. Look to the New Moon in Virgo on February 19th to help you with releasing an unhealthy attachment.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21):

It will be hard for folks to turn you down this month, as magnetic Venus moves into Capricorn, your zone of communication, on February 3rd. If you’re looking to make a presentation or grab someone’s attention, this is the month to set up meetings as well as initiate the right calls, emails, and conversations that can get you where you want to go. Attending social gatherings and events could not only be fun for you, but it might also tap you into some new opportunities.

On the 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius activates your zone of home and family which could help you find your dream living space or find the motivation you need to move house. Above all, expect this moon to help you with releasing the past and finding the inner strength and knowing you need to move forward.

On the 10th, flirty Mercury moves into Pisces, your zone of romance and creativity. While you might find yourself creatively inspired, you’re also in the mood for love. Look to ways you can break out of the routine. By making your pleasure a priority, you can attract who and what you want. Though watch out for unnecessary arguments and unnecessarily pushy people as agitating Mars enters Taurus, your zone of partnership, on February 14th. If boundaries have been an issue for you, Mars will ensure that you draw them. Still Mars can also help you connect with people who inspire and fuel you too.

With the Sun entering Pisces on the 18th, your mission is to get comfortable with being your most authentic self. Doing so will help you attract (and keep) the right people.

On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo may help you to release some dead weight where a friendship or association is concerned.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21):

Abundance is yours this month as wealthy Venus enters financially-savvy Capricorn, your zone of income and self-worth, on February 3rd. With Venus ramping up your powers to manifest what you want, you could receive an impressive job offer, a pay raise, or a new client with deep pockets.

Though in order to make sure you can fully receive what the universe if offering, you have to believe you’re deserving of it first. With the New Moon in Aquarius landing in your zone of communication on the 4th, it won’t be too hard to convince others how deserving you are when it comes to what you want. In other words, speak what you want into existence as there’ll be folks on hand who will want to assist you. On another note, this moon can help you break free of an old or self-limiting perspective.

On the 10th, chatty Mercury enters intuitive Pisces, your zone of home and family, pushing you to draw inward and reflect. If you haven’t been feeling as emotionally nourished as you could be, Mercury will help you address the issue and make necessary changes. Connecting or talking with loved ones could be good for the spirit.

Meanwhile, with active Mars entering Taurus (February 14th), your zone of health and routine, you’re encouraged to be proactive about your own well-being. If you’ve fallen off the wagon, where your fitness or nutrition are concerned, Mars in Taurus could help you find the motivation you need. Just be mindful about taking on more than you can handle. Plus, with Pisces season kicking off on the 18th, you’re going to be looking for more rest and relaxation. Take your time.

Look to the Full Moon in Virgo (February 19th) to bring you some well deserved accolades where your career is concerned.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19):

You’re the cosmic darling of the month as magnetic and charming Venus enters Capricorn (February 3rd), your zone of self-image and confidence. With Venus working on your behalf, you’ll have the kind of magnetism that will make it hard for others to resist. This means that when it comes to love and your professional life, you can win.

At the same time, this could be a good month to invest in your self-care and beauty regimen. Venus wants to help you look and feel good, so make the effort when it comes to your pleasure and well-being.

Remember, when you’re feeling turned on, the world turns on with you.

On a similar note, if you’ve been overly self-critical as of late, Venus will be bringing you lessons on the value of self-love and acceptance. Take notes.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18):

Although your birthday season is coming to an end this month, the cosmos isn’t done handing out your gifts. One such gift arrives on February 4th as a road opening new moon. The New Moon in Aquarius activates your zone of self-confidence and image, which can help you with breaking free of personal (or perceived) limitations. If there’s something important that you’ve been looking to accomplish, this moon can provide you with the wind beneath your wings.

Since this zone is associated with your physical well-being, this month is also a good time to turn over a new leaf when it comes to your health and your beauty routine. A new look or wardrobe could ramp up your confidence and the self-love.

Before you get to that new moon though, love planet Venus will enter grounded Capricorn (your zone of rest and retreat) on February 3rd. With Venus in this zone, look to ways that you can feed yourself at the emotional and spiritual level. A note: when it comes to romance, be mindful of going for the unavailable types.

On the 10th, detailed Mercury enters Pisces, your zone of income and possessions, pushing you to pay closer attention to your cash. Look to the confident Sun entering Pisces on the 18th to help you with honoring your worth and improving your stability.

Though with active Mars entering Taurus (your home zone) on the 14th, it’s possible that things could feel a little unstable. Mars will be helping you put the necessary effort into building your security as well as establishing healthier boundaries with family and close friends. The Full Moon in Virgo on the 19th will help you to face your fears.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20):

It’s your birthday season Pisces, and with the confident Sun moving into your zone of self-image on the 18th, your shine will be hard to ignore. Before we get to your birthday, there’s some rounds you need to make as sociable Venus enters Capricorn (your zone of groups and organizations) on February 3rd.

With Venus ramping up your charm, it’s time for you to work your network and align yourself with people who can help you with furthering your personal and professional goals. Look to ways you can level-up your circle of friends as getting ahead requires that you not only know the right people, but that you also connect with folks who are actually on your level too. In other words, stop “dating down” when it comes to your friendships.

Come February 4th, the New Moon in Aquarius lands in your zone of rest and retreat, bringing some emotional shifts with it. This could be a good time to begin therapy or a spiritual practice that helps you to heal and remain centered during challenging times.

On the 10th, when chatty Mercury enters Pisces, you’ll have the power to move mountains with your words, ideas, and creativity. Like Venus, Mercury will be putting you in the path of some influential folks, but it’s going to be up to you to initiate (and follow-through) on the conversations that need to happen for your success. Look to confident Mars entering Taurus (your zone of communication) on February 14th to help you find the self-assurance you need to network with poise and purpose.

On the 19th, the Full Moon in Virgo activates your relationship zone which could trigger an ending or a new beginning in a significant relationship. Don’t ignore the truth.

ALL FORCASTS WRITTEN BY MECCA WOODSFEBRUARY 1, 2019 FROM https://iamandco.com/blog/february-astrology-report

#astrology #Februaryforecast #zodiac

An Open Letter From An Abused Jenni Farley #JWOWW

Fans of MTV's 'Jersey Shore' have watched Jenni Farley, or JWoww as she's well known, live her life publicly. JWoww was a breakout star who fans watched over the past decade go from a club hopping, scantily clad shore girl to a mother and wife who has transitioned before our eyes. In recent years she's broken from her hard partying antics with her BFF Snooki. Jenni is now a married woman with children, learning the tough lessons that come with full time adulting. Yesterday the reality tv star let the public in on a secret: Her transition has been anything but smooth and she is compelled to share her divorce and abuse anguish publicly in this vulnerable time of life. Read her powerful words (from her personal website)

JENNI FARLEY

A MESSAGE TO ROGER:

I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FEW MONTHS TRYING TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM PUBLIC HUMILIATION, BECAUSE AS PARENTS, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THEM. I WANTED TO HANDLE THIS OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT BECAUSE OUR SILENCE IS THEIR GREATER GOOD. EVEN WHEN YOU TRIED TO DISGRACE MY NAME, MAKE FALSE ACCUSATIONS AND EVEN POINT BLANK LIE... I STILL REMAINED SILENT AS CHALLENGING AS IT WAS ... WHY? BECAUSE, GREATER GOOD.  I CAN NO LONGER SIT IDLY BY WHILE YOU MISTREAT AND MALIGN ME IN SUCH AN EGREGIOUS MANNER. YOU HAVE PRESENTED YOURSELF TO THE PUBLIC AS A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER AND A HUSBAND WHO HAS BEEN SUFFERING BY MY ALLEGED ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR.      

THE ALTERED PERCEPTIONS YOU HAVE CREATED FOR YOURSELF ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS TRULY STAGGERING. YOUR POSTINGS ARE CONSUMED WITH INACCURACIES, FALSE STATEMENTS, SELF-SERVING COMMENTS, OUTRIGHT MISREPRESENTATIONS AND BLATANT LIES. WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL TRUTH?  WHAT IS YOUR REALITY?  IS IT THE VIDEO YOU TOOK OF YOURSELF WHILE DRIVING THE CHILDREN, PLACING THEM AT RISK BECAUSE YOU CANNOT TAKE THE CAMERA OFF OF YOURSELF EVEN FOR A MINUTE WHILE OPERATING A VEHICLE?  IS IT THE PIZZA THAT YOU FED TO OUR 2 YEAR OLD SON WHO IS HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO GLUTEN AND DAIRY, PLACING HIM IN SERIOUS MEDICAL JEOPARDY?  WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT THE FOOD SITUATION, YOU CHOSE TO BERATE ME INSTEAD OF ACKNOWLEDGING THAT GREYSON’S HEALTH IS OF PARAMOUNT CONCERN.  HOW DARE I BE WORRIED ABOUT OUR SON’S MEDICAL CONDITION?  HOW DARE ANYONE QUESTION YOU ABOUT WHAT GREYSON EATS DURING YOUR PARENTING TIME?  IT’S ONLY OUR SON’S SAFETY AT ISSUE. APPARENTLY, ALL OF HIS MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS ARE WRONG AND YOU KNOW BEST ABOVE ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE THOROUGHLY EVALUATED HIM.  YOU FORGOT TO POST A PHOTO OF WHEN YOU RECEIVED YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE SO THAT YOU COULD PERSONALLY DIAGNOSE OUR SON AND THEREFORE DISREGARD ALL OF THE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE WE HAVE RECEIVED FOR HIS MEDICAL BEST INTERESTS.  I AM CURIOUS WHY YOU DIDN’T POST LAST WEEK’S VIDEO OF GREYSON WITH HIS THERAPIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA? OH, OF COURSE!! THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE YOU REFUSED TO OPEN THE DOOR (AND YOU WERE HOME!) TO ALLOW THE THERAPIST IN FOR GREYSON’S SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT, EVEN THOUGH SHE STOOD THERE KNOCKING AND RINGING THE BELL FOR 30 MINUTES IN THE FREEZING COLD. SHE SHOWED UP ON THE MOST ARCTIC DAY OF THE YEAR TO PROVIDE CARE FOR GREYSON AND YOU AGAIN IGNORED THE CRITICAL MEDICAL NEEDS THAT HE REQUIRES. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS ONLY A SMALL SAMPLING IN THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS OF “ROGER REALITY ON IG”.  A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER?  YOU NEED TO LOOK OUT FOR THE BEST INTERESTS OF OUR CHILDREN, ROGER.  THE CHILDREN ARE THE ONLY PRIORITY.  YOUR ACTIONS HAVE AND CONTINUE TO PLACE THE CHILDREN IN HARM’S WAY.  STOP, PAUSE AND HAVE A TRUE REALITY CHECK.    

YOU HURT THE CHILDREN AND YOU HURT ME.  WHEN WILL IT END?

IT IS INCONCEIVABLE THAT YOU PERSONALLY RESEARCHED THE WHEREABOUTS AND CONTACTED EX BOYFRIENDS OF MINE TO INFLICT HARM UPON ME AFTER I FILED FOR DIVORCE AND YOU WERE REMOVED FROM THE HOME AS A RESULT OF A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER.  IT IS UNFATHOMABLE TO ME THAT BECAUSE OF YOU PROACTIVELY CONTACTING AN EX-BOYFRIEND OF MINE TO TEAM UP AGAINST ME, HE WAS ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO EXTORT MONEY FROM ME.  YOU DIDN’T STOP THERE THOUGH.  YOU PERSISTED TO TRY TO TAKE ME DOWN.  YOU KNEW THAT ANOTHER EX FROM MY COLLEGE YEARS BRUTALLY BEAT ME SO BADLY THAT I WAS HOSPITALIZED.  HE WAS INCARCERATED FOR THE VIOLENT ACTS AGAINST ME.  HE WAS GUILTY OF 3 COUNTS OF CRIMINAL CONTEMPT IN THE SECOND DEGREE.  HE VIOLATED AN ORDER OF PROTECTION MULTIPLE TIMES.  HE EVEN CONTACTED ME FROM JAIL AFTER HE WAS ARRESTED IN VIOLATION OF THE ORDER.  HE SHOWED UP TO MY HOME, WORK, GYM AND IT GOT SO FRIGHTENING THAT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT PLACED A CAPER ALARM IN MY HOME FOR MY 24/7 SAFETY.   

I CONFIDED IN YOU ABOUT MY PAINFUL PAST AS A SURVIVOR OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  HOW SHAMEFUL THAT YOU USED IT TO BEAT ME DOWN FARTHER.  WHEN YOUR OWN ACTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME WERE QUESTIONED, YOU CHOSE TO REACH OUT TO THIS UNSPEAKABLE PERSON IN ORDER TO INTIMIDATE ME.  YOUR ATTEMPT TO BRING THIS HEINOUS PERSON BACK INTO MY LIFE (THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN) AFTER HE NEARLY MURDERED ME SPEAK VOLUMES AS TO WHO YOU REALLY ARE.  YOU ARE AN ABUSER TO THE CORE, ROGER MATHEWS.  IF THIS WAS NOT ENOUGH, YOU HAVE SPIT AT ME.  YOU HAVE PUSHED ME. YOU HAVE SHOVED ME.  YOU HAVE AGGRESSIVELY THROWN ME TO THE GROUND.  YOU HAVE PREVENTED ME FROM CLOSING DOORS TO ESCAPE HAVING YOU COMING AT ME. YOU HAVE BELITTLED AND DISPARAGED ME.  YOU HAVE THREATENED ME.  YOU HAVE CONTACTED MY BOSSES TO ATTEMPT TO SMEAR MY NAME AND HURT MY PUBLIC IMAGE.  YOU HAVE CALLED AUTHORITIES TO FALSELY ACCUSE ME OF HARMING OUR CHILDREN HOPING TO GET A LEG UP AS LEVERAGE IN A CUSTODY CASE, ONLY RESULTING IN OUR CHILDREN HAVING TO BE UNDRESSED AND PHYSICALLY EXAMINED, BEING HUMILIATED AND INVESTIGATED WITH NATURALLY NO SUBSTANTIATION OF ANY ABUSE ON MY PART. YOU CLAIM TO HAVE SUFFERED?  YOUR ACTIONS ARE REPREHENSIBLE.  NO REAL MAN WOULD TORTURE HIS FAMILY AS YOU HAVE.  YOU ARE CRUEL AND VICIOUS. YOU ARE A “MAN” WHO ACTUALLY BLAMES THE VICTIM.  SADLY, I HAVE LEARNED THAT THIS IS ALL JUST ORDINARY BEHAVIOR FOR YOU.  UPON YOU BEING REMOVED FROM THE HOME BY THE POLICE, I FOUND THE RECORDS OF YOUR MULTIPLE ARRESTS, WHICH YOU PREVIOUSLY HID FROM ME.  A VIOLENT PERSON IS WHO YOU REALLY ARE THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

YOUR THREATS AND ABUSE ARE NOT LIMITED TO THOSE INCIDENTS THOUGH. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE.  JUST ONE EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW IS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THREATENING TO USE A USB THAT YOU KEPT HIDDEN IN YOUR GUN AMMO CASE AGAINST ME.  I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IS ON THIS USB HOWEVER.  YOUR INTIMIDATION TACTICS WITH FOOTAGE THAT YOU INTEND TO SHOW OUT OF CONTEXT ARE MEANINGLESS.  THE VIDEOS ARE FROM 2 YEARS AGO. YOU ARE RECORDING YOURSELF WHILE HOLDING GREYSON THE DAY AFTER YOU CHOKED ME AND THREW ME DOWN TO THE FLOOR IN THE KITCHEN. I CAN’T RECALL WHY YOU ASSAULTED ME ON THAT OCCASION – JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE FARLEY-MATHEW’S HOME.  I DO HAVE THE FOOTAGE OF THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INCIDENT THOUGH.  IT IS OBVIOUS NOW THAT THE FOLLOWING DAY YOU WANTED TO RECORD YOURSELF BAITING ME IN YOUR “SELFIE VIDEO” BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED OVER A POSSIBLE RESTRAINING ORDER DUE TO YOUR ACTIONS FROM THE DAY BEFORE.  YOUR SELFIE IS 20 MINUTES OF ME CRYING AND RANTING IN THE BACKGROUND ... LOOKING PALE AND FRAZZLED. WHY?  BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME HORRIBLE NAMES, DISPARAGED MY FATHER, STATED THINGS LIKE “I GOT MY ASS BEAT BY SAM”, FALSELY ACCUSE THAT I’M A “DRUG ADDICT,” YOU HAVING BRAGGED ABOUT HOW THIS WOMAN YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH IS “SMOKING HOT” AND HOW “SHE WAS WORTH GETTING PUNCHED BY HER HUSBAND.”  I HAD GREYSON 6 MONTHS PRIOR. WHILE MY HORMONES, MY INSECURITIES AND MY EMOTIONS ALL GOT THE BEST OF ME, I BELIEVE THAT ANY REASONABLE PERSON WOULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY UPSET BY YOUR VERBAL ATTACK UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU TALK ABOUT OTHER WOMEN IN MY PREMARITAL HOUSE THAT SHELTERS YOU AND WHERE OUR CHILDREN LIVE?  YOU BRAG ABOUT AN AFFAIR, HAVING NO RESPECT FOR ME AS THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN?  YOU RECORD YOURSELF WITH OUR SON AT YOUR SIDE WHILE SAYING THESE DISGUSTING THINGS TO ME, HAVING PHYSICALLY ABUSED ME THE DAY BEFORE, AND WITH A PROVOCATIVE SMIRK ON YOUR FACE?  I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT I THREW A VACUUM ABOUT 15 FEET AWAY OUT OF FRUSTRATION BUT CANDIDLY BEING TAUNTED IN THIS MANNER WHERE YOU SPEAK ABOUT CRAVING ANOTHER WOMAN’S “PU**Y” JUST AFTER I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR SON WAS SIMPLY APPALLING.  I HAD BEEN CLEANING GLASS YOU SHATTERED IN THE KITCHEN.  YOU HOWEVER TRY TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF I BROKE THE GLASS BY THROWING IT AT YOU AND GREY. YOU DON’T SEE THAT IN THE VIDEO YOU “CREATE”. YOU DON’T SEE GREY UPSET IN THE VIDEO.  YOU ARE OF COURSE AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER, CHILLING OUT WITHOUT MAKING A MOVE.  JUST PROVOKING AND RIDICULING ME, TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME. 

SO YOU HAVE EMBARKED ON A CRUSADE TO ABUSE ME AND PLACE ME AND THE KIDS IN HARM’S WAY. STILL A PRAISEWORTHY FATHER AND HUSBAND? 

FOR MYSELF, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS AND I CAN HONOR THAT. YES, EVEN IN LIGHT OF ALL OF THE ABOVE, AND MY HAVING FILED FOR DIVORCE, I MADE SURE COUNTLESS TIMES THE KIDS KNEW REGARDLESS OF OUR DIVORCE, WE WERE STILL A UNIT. THE DAY AFTER I FILED, I BOUGHT DISNEY ON ICE TICKETS FOR ALL OF US. THESE TICKETS WERE FOR JANUARY. I CLEARLY THOUGHT OF US CO-PARENTING WELL INTO THE FUTURE AS RESPONSIBLE PARENTS SHOULD. I INVITED YOU AND PAID FOR YOUR PLANE TICKET TO GREYSON’S DOCTOR APPOINTMENT IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA. EVEN AFTER 6 MONTHS OF FIGHTING, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY TO GET GREYSON HELP YOU MADE ME FEEL ISOLATED AND ALONE BECAUSE YOU INSISTED THAT GREYSON DIDN’T NEED HELP AND THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO NEEDED IT. IT WAS ALL ABOUT SAFEGUARDING YOUR EGO INSTEAD OF OUR SON’S MEDICAL NEEDS. AN OBSTACLE THAT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FRUSTRATING. YET, I STILL HAD THANKSGIVING WITH YOU TO TRY TO REMAIN ALIGNED FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. THE GREATER GOOD. JUST BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE CAN’T MOVE FORWARD IN THEIR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP, DOES NOT MEAN THEY CAN’T CO-PARENT.  I HAVE SINCE TRIED EVERY DAY TO WORK WITH YOU, WORKING WITH MY LAWYER TO PREPARE AND PROPOSE MULTIPLE AGREEMENTS AND SOLUTIONS TO RESOLVE ALL OF OUR CUSTODY, PARENTING TIME AND DIVORCE RELATED ISSUES WE HAVE SO THAT WE CAN GLOBALLY SETTLE THE CASE IN RECORD TIME.  WHY NOT BE THE EXAMPLE OF HOW PEOPLE CAN WORK TOGETHER FOR THE BEST INTERESTS OF THEIR CHILDREN, RIGHT?  UNFORTUNATELY, YOU WON’T EVEN COMMIT ON A PERMANENT BASIS TO ME HAVING MOTHER’S DAY WITH THE KIDS AND YOU HAVING FATHER’S DAY.  YOU WON’T COMMIT LONG TERM TO EACH OF US HAVING EQUAL ACCESS TO SCHOOL AND MEDICAL RECORDS FOR THE CHILDREN.  IT IS INCONCEIVABLE.  YOUR INSISTENCE TO FIGHT MERELY TO FIGHT HIGHLIGHTS YOUR ABUSIVE TENDENCIES.  YOUR SPITEFUL ATTITUDE CONTINUES TO BE HARMFUL TO THIS FAMILY.  YOU ARE CONTROLLING.  YOU ARE MANIPULATIVE. YOU ARE IRRESPONSIBLE.  OUR CHILDREN ARE THE ONES WHO SUFFER AS A RESULT.  NOT YOU.       

NOW YOU EVEN REJECTED TAKING MEILANI FOR AN OVERNIGHT BECAUSE IT MEANT SPENDING $20-$40 FOR A MORNING BABYSITTER BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO PROVE A “LIFESTYLE” (AND YOU WERE UNABLE TO CARE FOR HER BECAUSE OF YOUR WORK SCHEDULE).  YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE TIME WITH OUR DAUGHTER AND REFUSED THE OVERNIGHT OVER A FEW DOLLARS BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO BUILD A CHILD SUPPORT CASE.  THE $20-$40 SAVINGS TO YOU WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OVERNIGHT TIME WITH MEILANI.  DO YOU POST THESE FACTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA?  NO!  YOU POST INSTEAD THAT I AM WITHHOLDING YOUR CHILDREN.  I RECALL YOU BEING THE MAN WHO TOUTED HIMSELF ON AND OFF CAMERA SO MANY TIMES... “I AM NOT WITH YOU FOR YOUR MONEY. I WILL NEVER WANT CHILD SUPPORT, ALIMONY... I AM A HARD WORKING MAN AND CAN HOLD MY OWN,” ETC.  SO WHERE IS THIS PERSON NOW? HOW COULD YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE FOR SO MANY YEARS AND SAY THAT YOU LOVED ME FOR ME AND NOT FOR MY PAYCHECK?  NOW YOU ASK FOR ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT AND YOU ALSO WANT TO CHALLENGE THE VALIDITY OF A 2015 PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT THAT YOU SIGNED AS A VALID, BINDING AND ENFORCEABLE CONTRACT ON CAMERA?

BE A MAN AND HOLD YOURSELF TO YOUR WORD THAT “YOU WERE NEVER WITH ME FOR MY MONEY, AND NEVER WANTED MY MONEY...”  CHOOSE TO BE AN AMAZING FATHER WHO RECOGNIZES THEIR HEALTH, WELL-BEING AND NEEDS AS A PRIORITY INSTEAD OF BEING IN IT FOR YOURSELF. 

I GUESS I WON’T EVER KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE “KEEPING IT REAL... AND THE REAL REALITY.” I AM THE FOOL IN THE END FOR BELIEVING IN THE HYPE OF YOU.  NEVERTHELESS, I WILL CONTINUE TO HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH AND BE THE BEST PARENT I CAN BE.  I WILL HOPE ONE DAY YOU WILL STOP WITH THE HATE FILLED ANTICS AND JUST BE A GOOD FATHER TO OUR CHILDREN, FOR THEM... NOT FOR THE MONEY MOTIVES BEHIND IT. I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HANDLE THIS MATTER WITH CLASS AND DIGNITY BECAUSE OUR CHILDREN MAY SEE THIS ONE DAY. HOWEVER, MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, I WILL NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO TRY ALL AVENUES TO RUIN THE PERSON I WORKED SO HARD TO BECOME... I HAVE BEEN BROKEN DOWN, BEATEN, HOSPITALIZED, TRAUMATIZED, THREATENED, DEGRADED, BATTERED, AND ABUSED.  I GOT OUT.  I STAND STRONG TODAY.  FOR ME.  FOR GREYSON.  FOR MEILANI.  THEY WILL NOT GROW UP WATCHING THEIR MOTHER BEING A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  I WILL BE A VICTIM NO LONGER.  ROGER, KNOW THIS HERE AND FOR ALWAYS - MY KINDNESS SHOULD NEVER AGAIN MISTAKEN FOR WEAKNESS.  REMEMBER THAT.

I WILL NOT BE THREATENED. I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED. I WILL NOT BE BROKEN.

ON A MORE GENERAL AND PERSONAL NOTE. I KNOW THIS MAY BE SEEN BY MANY PEOPLE IN VARYING CIRCUMSTANCES IN ALL WALKS OF LIFE.  VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARE NOT JUST THOSE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY ABUSED. BECOME EDUCATED AND PROTECTED.  MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DIVORCE LAWYER, BARI WEINBERGER, HAS CREATED FREE MATERIALS THAT ARE DESIGNED TO HELP EXPLAIN THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS, THE PROCESS, YOUR RIGHTS, AND WHAT TO DO TO OBTAIN PROTECTION FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. HTTPS://CONTENT.WEINBERGERLAWGROUP.COM/DOMESTIC-VIOLENCE-BOOK.  SO MANY OF YOU MAY BE UNDERSTANDABLY AFRAID TO COME FORWARD, AND HAVE BEEN STUCK IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAR TOO LONG JUST AS I HAVE BEEN. IF ANYONE IS FEELING DOWN, BROKEN, HURT OR LOST, PLEASE KNOW THAT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!  PLEASE DON’T FEEL ALONE.  PLEASE SEEK HELP… WHETHER IT’S THROUGH A FRIEND, LOVED ONE, HOTLINE, LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENT, JUDGE OR STRANGER ... SUFFERING IN SILENCE IS NO WAY TO LIVE. I WAS THERE FOR MANY YEARS AND YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE SAFE.  YOU ARE VALUABLE, YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE LOVED. 

JENNI FARLEY

#JenniFarley #JWoww #RogerMathews #JerseyShore #DomesticAbuse #MeToo #MTV